Stay on target Demon Evocation & Invocation: Which Is Right for You? The Beginners Guide to Demonology It’s your boy J. Thor Kensen back with another list for you, and this one’s topical because it’s always topical. Why’s that? Because people are always having babies. Seriously. They’re doing it pretty much constantly, all over the planet. And no matter where they do it, they tend to, sooner or later, name that baby something. The thing is, most baby names are lousy. Really lousy.
Names like “Chris” or “Sheilah” or “Jordan” or “Aubrey.”
Instead of naming a kid after your aunt or a Happy Potter character or a compass direction or, I dunno, whatever the celebs are doing these days, why not name them after something that can really help them out? More than your great aunt’s inheritance even. That’s right; your old pal J. Thor is talking about demons.
And devils. And, if we’re being 100% honest with you, evil gods.
But six one, half dozen the other, right? Collected here are the top eleven demons and devils, not to worship or summon or anything crazy like that, but to simply name your baby after. And because we consider ourselves extremely woke here at Geek.
com, it’s our contention that any of these names can be used for male, female or non-binary babies, for those enlightened folks out there who plan on raising their spawn gender-free.
View as: One Page Slides 1. Paimon via commons.wikimedia.org
Let’s start with a classic, shall we? Paimon shows up in a ton of different grimoires, but most of them agree on how good looking he is. Naming your kid Paimon is a great way to hedge your bets that they’ll end up being a looker and/or riding a camel.
2. Baphomet via commons.
Baphomet gets brought up whenever someone starts talking about demons, but that’s just because Baphomet is kinda the best. Part man, part woman, part goat, part, I dunno, crow or something, but all demon. You could call your baby “Baph” for short, or do that weird British thing and call him “Omet.”
3. Lucifuge via commons.
Lucifuge Rofocale isn’t just a demon, he’s the demon that runs the government of Hell.
Guess that makes him doubly evil, am I right? More importantly, however, Lucifuge is also the name of Danzig’s best album.
4. Amon via commons.wikimedia.org
Let’s stop beating around the bush, huh? If you’re naming your kid after a demon, chances are you want them to get some magic out of the deal. If that’s the case, you could do a lot worse than Amon, which is the demon that gave Akira, of classic manga/anime character Devilman, his powers.
5. Kassogtha via tumblr
Any of these names work for every gender, but you might find yourself looking for something a little more traditionally feminine.
In that case, opt for Kassogtha, who was the mate of the legendary Cthulhu. It’s a moniker so lovely that you’ll forget it refers to a slimy pile of tentacles.
6. Barbatos via commons.wikimedia.org
Another goetic demon, Barbatos has a full bag of tricks, including the ability to chat with beasts and find a treasure hidden by magic. Really though, the big advantage to naming your kid Barbatos is that it’s a lot easier to come up with a nickname (Barb, Barbie, etc.) than with Paimon.
7. Balor via thepicta.com
Technically, Balor is more a god than a demon, but seeing as he’s the god of nasty stuff like drought and blight and destruction, our editors said we could include him. Plus, it’s an excuse for us all take a nice long gander at the abs on WWE Superstar Finn Balor.
8. Tengu via totaljapandemonium.
Though this list has been unfortunately Eurocentric thus far, that changes with the inclusion of the Tengu.
Some Japanese traditions see them as less demonic than others, but listen: They’re red, magical and have giant schnozzolas. What would you call them?
9. Mammon via commons.wikimedia.org
If you’re trying to land on a name that will predict success for your precious babe, Mammon is an excellent choice. Yeah, it’s a demon or god of all-consuming greed, but there’s no ethical consumption under late capitalism, so I say you just run with it.
Etrigan via toonopedia.com
It’s not the first Jack Kirby character that we’d suggest you name your baby after (that would be Murder Machine), but if you’re committed to the whole demon thing, you could do a lot worse than that infernal poetry enthusiast, Etrigan.
11. Asmodeus via irock.cl
Another demon included in the Ars Goetia, Asmodeus also has something else very important going for him: His name is sung in the chorus of Ghost’s song “Year Zero.” Imagine what a kick your child will get out of that when they find a recording of the song in the blasted, ruined nightmare landscape that you’ve damned them to by bringing them kicking and screaming into this world.
J Thor Kensen is the illegitimate brother of K.
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