It goes without saying that the coronavirus pandemic has completely changed all of our lives and what our day to day looks like. It\u2019s safe to assume that we\u2019re more than ready to kick the vast majority of these New Normals to the curb and go back to doing things like, I dunno, standing closer to someone than six feet or even indulging in the occasional high-five, and a very, very slim percentage of these pandemic changes will be missed. Having the luxury of working from home AKA not putting on real pants every day has been nice.<\/p>\n
There is one thing that has become normalized during the pandemic, however, that we as a collective society need to pull the plug on immediately. And that thing is puzzles.<\/p>\n
It can be hard to try and find new ways to fill the time through month after month of lockdowns, I get it, I do. But that is no reason to resort to willfully doing a puzzle, as if it\u2019s fun, as if doing a puzzle is somehow an enjoyable activity. Puzzles suck. They suck ass and we all know it. Why have we been pretending otherwise? Why have we been lying to ourselves? To our children?<\/em> No. No more. This has gone on long enough.<\/p>\n Puzzles, from start to finish, are a scam.<\/p>\n Step one, you buy a puzzle with your hard earned money. Step two, you stare at the pieces dumped on your coffee table going, \u201cUhhhhhh where\u2019s the blue piece? No that\u2019s the wrong blue piece. That\u2019s the wrong blue piece. That\u2019s the wrong b\u2014\u201d etcetera for hours, even days<\/em>. Step three, eventually you finish the puzzle and discover that, surprise surprise, it\u2019s exactly the picture it told you it was going to be. Now what? Now you do it all over again?<\/p>\n Do you know how insane that is?! <\/p>\n I would rather mow a golf course by cutting each blade of grass with nail scissors. That isn\u2019t an activity,<\/em> that is a form of torment <\/em>that belongs in the dungeons of Tartarus.<\/em> The only thing more psychotic than subjecting yourself to completing a puzzle over and over is completing it once and then keeping it.<\/em> Does it do anything cool like after you finish building a model plane? No, you just stare at it, because it\u2019s a puzzle. Okay. Cool. So you have the picture on the front of the box framed and on display, except it doesn\u2019t even look like the picture on the box, it looks like shit because it\u2019s a fucking puzzle.<\/em> <\/p>\n Go buy a desk from IKEA and spend your free time putting it together and taking it apart, since we\u2019re doing things that don\u2019t make any sense. At least whenever you decide you\u2019re finally done you\u2019d have a goddamn desk.<\/p>\n Look, all I\u2019m saying is that you deserve better. Choosing to spend your time doing puzzles is like if the Donner Party still had rations but some guy was like, \u201cAlright who are we eating first?\u201d NO. STOP. There are OPTIONS. Getting into claymation or puppetry would be a less depressing and better use of quarantine downtime. Say no to puzzles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It goes without saying that the coronavirus pandemic has completely changed all of our lives and what our day to day looks like. It\u2019s safe to assume that we\u2019re more than ready to kick the vast majority of these New Normals to the curb and go back to doing things like, I dunno, standing closer … <\/p>\nExcuse me?<\/em><\/h4>\n
No. Nope. <\/h4>\n