{"id":128,"date":"2021-05-29T10:58:45","date_gmt":"2021-05-29T10:58:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/blog\/2021\/05\/29\/11-surefire-tricks-to-never-smoke-again\/"},"modified":"2021-05-29T10:58:45","modified_gmt":"2021-05-29T10:58:45","slug":"11-surefire-tricks-to-never-smoke-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/blog\/2021\/05\/29\/11-surefire-tricks-to-never-smoke-again\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Surefire Tricks To Never Smoke Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

Always be covered in gasoline<\/h3>\n
\n

Join a human centipede<\/h3>\n
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Only smoke underwater<\/h3>\n
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Build a time machine, go back in time to the day before you started smoking, and kill yourself<\/h3>\n
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Start a petition to rename cigarettes \u201cbaby wieners\u201d<\/h3>\n
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Replace one cigarette in the pack with a tiny stick of dynamite<\/h3>\n
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Die from lung cancer<\/h3>\n
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Have J. K. Simmons scream in your face \u201cNot my Marlboro!\u201d<\/h3>\n
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Move somewhere really windy so you literally can\u2019t ever light a cigarette<\/h3>\n
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Admit that camels are not good role models<\/h3>\n
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Smoke a pack of cigarettes while watching your parents have sex<\/h3>\n
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Hire Peyton Manning to fire a football at your throat every time you light up<\/h3>\n
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Cut off your hands<\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Always be covered in gasoline Join a human centipede Only smoke underwater Build a time machine, go back in time to the day before you started smoking, and kill yourself Start a petition to rename cigarettes \u201cbaby wieners\u201d Replace one cigarette in the pack with a tiny stick of dynamite Die from lung cancer Have … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “11 Surefire Tricks To Never Smoke Again”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":129,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=128"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wpinitiate.com\/crawlomatic-test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}